December 2009
I'm such a retard.
Just dump me already.
“Put it this way. The only things you like are alcohol, Francis, and Taylor...”
– Paul !
“I’ve got myself to blame for all my bad moods, and I really wish that I...”
– Ashlee Simpson, Coming Back For More
save me - kelly osbourne
Save Me - Kelly Osbourne From the look in my eye, why didn’t you just save me? And all of my friends, Think I’m losing my mind. I just can’t believe I’m blinded by what I’d need, It’s like an empty space I need to fill the void. When you looked in my eyes You knew I needed saving, And when you saw me getting high Why didn’t you come save me? All of my life...
My Top 5 Artists (Week Ending 2009-12-27) →
The Beatles (27)
Tyler Dean (5)
Yeah Yeah Yeahs (4)
Taylor Swift (3)
Flyleaf (2)
Imported from Last.fm Tumblr by JoeLaz
“It’s hard to say what it is I see in you, wonder if I’ll always be...”
– Sister Hazel, All For You
I love my
Snuggie.
It’s pink.
And fluffy.
And, it completes me.
“Everybody has a secret world inside of them. All of the people of the world, I...”
– Neil Gaiman (via fuckyeahhappy)
hi.
I miss the way things used to be.
I don’t trust you, and I don’t know what to do.
I need you here more than ever, but I’m most definitely alone.
I want
you here, to hold your hand, rest my head on your shoulder, and tell you things I’ve never told anyone before.
“And I’m floating. And it’s like this amazing, amazing feeling. I’m free. And I’m safe .. but then I realize, I’m completely alone.”
Summer: I woke up one morning and I just knew.
Tom: Knew what?
Summer: What I was never sure of with you.
Tom: Look, we don't have to put a label on it. That's fine. I get it. But, you know, I just... I need some consistency.
Summer: I know.
Tom: I need to know that you're not gonna wake up in the morning and feel differently.
Summer: And I can't give you that. Nobody can.
“This is a story of boy meets girl. The boy, Tom Hansen of Margate, New Jersey,...”
– 500 Days of Summer
you know
One of the worst things in life is wanting to come clean,
Wanting to admit everything,
Wanting to get it off your chest ..
and never getting the chance to.
It’s getting your hopes up,
Trying to feel opimistic,
And watching things crash and burn.
It’s the worst, bottom of the ocean feeling ever.
Like your lungs are filled up with water.
So I’m just going to sleep,
And...
“Well, yeah. It’s really scary. You’re trusting someone completely...”
disclaimer: the bright side and i are seriously...
Meow.
It’s 11:28pm, and this means that 11:11 was 17 minutes ago. That means that, 17 minutes ago, I should have made a wish—a wish for something to happen, good or bad, horrible or fantastic, mundane and average or everything in between. And while my eyes met the clock at 11:11, I could simply stare at it, my mind numb. Because, in all honesty … what was there to wish for?
...
“I know it’s too early to tell you I’m in love with you, but is it...”
– Sellevision, Augusten Burroughs
daily note (s) of ... optimism? maybe.
Today was .. kinda hectic. For the first time in ages, I went to therapy. I sat there in the car, a little nervous, maybe. When my mom got out of the car, too, I felt so angry I thought I was going to explode right then, right there. I couldn’t help it. I felt like people were intruding on everything in my life. I felt like nothing was mine, just mine, to keep anymore. I was sharing everyone...
I hate really wanting to talk to someone and having them exist, completely oblivious, to the fact that you need them.
FML.
daily note of pessimism
I feel more lost than I ever have, and I’m afraid I’ll be stuck here, alone, while everyone moves on.
I’m afraid of being alone. So is that why I’m here? Unable to do anything, except blog about it? Overcome with sadness, and anxiety, faced with a decision to make .. and all I can do is type away the sadness without once being honest with anyone around me—least of...
I can't see the stars anymore
where I’m at is all dark,
And if I close my eyes, I think I see a little bit of hope,
Until you throw me off track—like you always do.
And I’m dizzy now, here in the dark,
I’m reaching out, just for a little bit of sanity,
And you throw me off, like you always do.
Why are we here, together, if I can hardly function this way?
The stars in your eyes are just gone, and...
Not About Love -- Fiona Apple
The early cars Already are Drawing deep breaths past my door And last night’s phrases Sick with lack of basis Are still writhing on my floor And it doesn’t seem fair That your wicked words should work In holding me down No, it doesn’t seem right To take information Given at close range For the gag And the bind And the ammunition round Conversation once colored by...
“It’s love. Not Santa Claus.”
p.s.,
is it horrible of me to hate my exboyfriends guts because he’s better at photography than i am?
i hate him …
i really do
i care too much
and another new years resolution of mine is to stop completely.
i need to make a legit list.
well
you can imagine my guilt when i unearthed a purple i-pod from the sad handful of presents, along with perfume and a freaking TAYLOR SWIFT TRACK SUIT
ah, the guilt of a pessimist. never gets old
daily note of pessimism
the handful of tiny gifts under the tree look extremely appealing, mother, i’m glad to see that the keyboard i desperately need slipped your mind—i will have to make due with my missing 9 key, my missing o key, and—the best of all—my missing enter key.
p.s., i do enjoy it immensely when my friends ignore my texts, on christmas eve no less, when i am incredbily upset after...
daily note of pessimism
i always ruin every holiday.
i feel guilty
Because I’m bummed, but it’s my first Christmas—ever—without my sister. We’re going to visit her in the hospital and that bums me out even more. I hate hospitals. And knowing that, all things considered, my sister will be fine, and others there won’t … it’s just sucky, and it makes me feel even more guilty.
I wish I had a friend here.
“Only ever has to give me, love forever and forever. My love don’t get me...”
– The Beatles
for a writer,
I’m blogging an awful lot of pictures lately. But seeing as I like photography & taking pictures almost as much as writing I guess it’s appropriate. ^-^
i want a girl like taylor swift
I never thought that I could fall for just one girl I didn’t think someone would ever rock my world She’s cool tall beautiful with long blonde curls i like to take her for a drive
I need a song that’ll turn head one that says something that i’ve never said make her turn a light as shade of red and really come alive
maybe she’s just a little too pretty outta reach and way too busy what...
My Top 5 Artists (Week Ending 2009-12-20) →
Taylor Swift (48)
Flyleaf (26)
Yeah Yeah Yeahs (19)
Lou Hickey (18)
Tyler Dean (17)
Imported from Last.fm Tumblr by JoeLaz
“mother, superior, jump the gun.”
– happiness is a warm gun
They can drive you crazy.
“I was half in love with her by the time we sat down. That’s the thing about girls. Every time they do something pretty, even if they’re not much to look at, or even if they’re sort of stupid, you fall half in love with them, and then you never know where the hell you are. Girls. Jesus Christ. They can drive you crazy. They really can.” -J.D. Salinger, The...
“If I can stop one heart from breaking,
I shall not live in vain.
If I can ease...”
– Emily Dickinson (via fuckyeahhappy)
i'll just sing to myself, lalala.
It’s so lonely knowing you can never just hold me Take my hand and tell me I’m the only one when I need And I’m craving for the chances that we should be taking The memories that we should be making But you’re not here I need something To get me through the days Until you’re coming Back to me So I’ll just sing To myself Lala lala lala lalala lala Lalala Lala...
open your eyes
you’re losing me a little more every day
fuck
i want to blog really badly but i’m currently crippled by anger. i’m so angry that all i can think to type to elaborate on how i feel is FUCKING SHIT GOD DAMN IT but that’s not acceptable for a young lady.
who’s turning 18 soon.
hi, my name is selfish and i hate my life.
My Top 5 Artists (Week Ending 2009-12-13) →
Taylor Swift (29)
Lady GaGa (8)
Lou Hickey (8)
Flyleaf (6)
Glee Cast (5)
Imported from Last.fm Tumblr by JoeLaz
“Why does every song of hers [Taylor Swift] relate to you better than anyone?”
– Julie (incidentally, it’s because taylor swift and i are kindred spirits, aka sisters separated at birth)
“Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply...”
– Lao Tzu (via fuckyeahhappy)
...
Once upon a time.. I believe it was a Tuesday when I caught your eye, and we caught onto something. I hold onto the night you looked me in the eye, and told me you loved me. Were you just kidding? ‘Cause it seems to me, this thing is breaking down. We almost never speak .. I don’t feel welcome anymore. Baby, what happened? Please. Tell me. ‘Cause one second, it was perfect .. now...
My Top 5 Artists (Week Ending 2009-12-6) →
Rihanna (24)
Boys Like Girls (22)
Lady GaGa (12)
The Beatles (11)
Taylor Swift (8)
Imported from Last.fm Tumblr by JoeLaz